Month after month
Gross salary to net salary
From new hire to termination
You have been our realible partner
For this we take this opportunity to say
Thank you
And we wish you and yours a happy, safe, and blessed Holiday season
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Monday, November 17, 2008
The Relationship That Wasn't
No warmth in your embrace.
No security in your words.
Just empty gazes exchanged.
Nothing gained. Nothing lost.
Excitement. Anxiety. Settling. Moving on.
No security in your words.
Just empty gazes exchanged.
Nothing gained. Nothing lost.
Excitement. Anxiety. Settling. Moving on.
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Here.I.Am.Again
So I got into the whole writing thing because my feelings got so intense they were screaming for an outlet. So I put pencil to paper and I wrote. Silly poems. Cliches. Yearnings. Desires. Pain. It all flowed out of me and created a mess.
It was embarrassing to see my emotional canvas which looked more like a child's drawing rather than the work of a great master. It wasn't coherent. It didn't have to be. After all, it was just an outlet for over-feeling. With time, it proved to be therapeutic. Things got better. Or so I thought. But I felt less. And I hurt less. And I went through an emotional desert where the lack of feeling almost hurt as much as the over-feeling. It was easier to travel the emotional barrens by keeping busy. Work became a distraction. WOW became a distraction. TV. Music. Internet. Porn. Food. All good distractions.
And now, here I am again. Feeling. Mostly lousy. Mostly because I idolize and I'm too shy / stupid to get to know the man behind the perfect exterior. And this is how I don't connect. How I get left out in the cold. Staring and drooling from a distance. Feeling bad. Feeling alone. Feeling terrified of a million things I can't even begin to describe. It's not logical. It's not sensible. It's not even healthy. But it is very real to me. It is my current reality.
And you'd think it would be comforting to be back in the over-feeling zone, but all I feel right now is fear and annoyance (!) over how the hell did I get back here? One minute its an emotional drought. Next minute it's an emotional monsoon. At least this time around I'll know to bring an umbrella. The emotional wet season is upon me.
It was embarrassing to see my emotional canvas which looked more like a child's drawing rather than the work of a great master. It wasn't coherent. It didn't have to be. After all, it was just an outlet for over-feeling. With time, it proved to be therapeutic. Things got better. Or so I thought. But I felt less. And I hurt less. And I went through an emotional desert where the lack of feeling almost hurt as much as the over-feeling. It was easier to travel the emotional barrens by keeping busy. Work became a distraction. WOW became a distraction. TV. Music. Internet. Porn. Food. All good distractions.
And now, here I am again. Feeling. Mostly lousy. Mostly because I idolize and I'm too shy / stupid to get to know the man behind the perfect exterior. And this is how I don't connect. How I get left out in the cold. Staring and drooling from a distance. Feeling bad. Feeling alone. Feeling terrified of a million things I can't even begin to describe. It's not logical. It's not sensible. It's not even healthy. But it is very real to me. It is my current reality.
And you'd think it would be comforting to be back in the over-feeling zone, but all I feel right now is fear and annoyance (!) over how the hell did I get back here? One minute its an emotional drought. Next minute it's an emotional monsoon. At least this time around I'll know to bring an umbrella. The emotional wet season is upon me.
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